3+ Resources I Recommend for Newly Recognized Autistics

So, you’ve recently (and that means in this context within the last couple of years) realized that you’re autistic. And let me guess - you’ve been taking in whatever information you can find on it, immersing yourself in the topic. A lot of that information is probably coming from other autistics on social media. It can be so validating to feel seen and see others talking about experiences that match ours.

You’re probably also looking for other sources, too, but it’s hard to tell which ones are going to be the most relevant for us. One big reason for that is we don’t know ahead of time what sources are willing to see us for who we are, with our strengths and challenges, and which are going to paint us in deficits with signs of healing revolving around us looking more neurotypical. You’re probably more than tired of being invalidated and hearing that the way you do things is wrong. Sources outside of social media also tend to be more of a time or financial commitment to access, so being sure it’s going to be useful to you might be more important.

That’s where I come in. I’ve pre-vetted some sources that you can trust to be neurodivergent-friendly, not neurodivergent-critical. They also hold a lot of great information for understanding yourself through physiological and identity lenses, which I think is really important since society doesn’t bake that information in for us. We’re left to try to function on norms and practices that serve a different neurotype’s needs, and don’t work for us (sometimes they actively harm us). When we’re looking to feel better, and to treat ourselves better, it’s really helpful to have a direction to give us ideas on how to do that.

I’ve picked my top three, and then thrown in one more because I couldn’t help myself. Why didn’t I just say 4? Because I’m not that fond of even numbers in lists like this, so you get 3 plus a bonus. You’re welcome.

1. Unmasking Autism by Devon Price

This book is great as an introduction to becoming more familiar with your own autism and how masking might show up for you. It also explores how that interacts with society at interpersonal and cultural levels, and how that impacts how we’re able to show up. If you’re looking to be seen with your struggles with navigating neurotypical society, to understand what’s at play that might be hard to put your finger on, and to find some hope and direction when it comes to unmasking and creating a life that works with and for you instead of against you, this is a good read (or listen, there is an audiobook version).

This book is written by a genderqueer academic and professor with autism, and the shift from reading about autism from researchers and neurotypicals to someone with lived experience can help change the way you see yourself. It also has exercises to help you reflect on your own mask and experience which I found helpful, and you might, too.

2. Neurodivergent Insights website by Megan Neff

This is a website/blog written and run by Megan Neff, who has both autism and ADHD. This one’s good for learning more about the neurology and physiology of neurodivergence (and the nervous system), in ways that you can use that information to make your day to day life look a little different and feel a little easier. Knowledge is power, and this is a good spot to start powering up. You can also learn about the clinical differences between different neurotypes, how they differ from some disorders that people with different kinds of neurodivergence are commonly misdiagnosed with, and what these all might look like.

This is a good spot for beginning a deep dive, giving you information you can use right away, or use as a jumping off point in your own research. Here’s a few links of some of my favourite posts for people really just beginning to explore their own neurodivergence and nervous systems.

The autistic and ADHD nervous system: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/autistic-adhd-nervous-system/

Is it ADHD or autism (or both)?: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/misdiagnosis-monday/adhd-vs-autism/

Autism and burnout: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-infographics/autism-and-burnout/

Object-based vs Social-based conversations: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/object-based-vs-social-based-conversations/

3. Library of the History of Autism Research, Behaviourism & Psychiatry

If you’re interested in the history of autism research, this is a place to hang out for a while. It’s full of articles on the, you guessed it, history of autism research. I am going to put a little bit of a heads up on this one, though. A new autism diagnosis is already a pretty chaotic mixed bag of emotions that takes time to work through and can leave us feeling a little raw, and the history around the development of autism diagnosis and treatment is a similar mixed bag. It’s not happy reading and can sometimes even come off as disturbing. A lot of us are already acutely aware of the fact that the medical and mental health industries are not exempt from bias and mistreatment of others, and are even often the drivers behind it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard to dive into the nitty gritty of it.

The reason I still include this here is because I know so many of us want to know all that we can, including the places where society has failed us mixed in with the progress we’ve made, so we can more easily see the path forward. Save exploring this for days and times when that’s what you’re ready to engage with.

Neurodiversity.net: https://neurodiversity.net/library_index.html

Bonus: The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones

And now, to the bonus 3+ recommendation.

This book, written by a therapist with autism, is one I couldn’t neglect from this list, especially when I had just been thinking about the harm so many of us have encountered in the medical and mental health industries. Therapy can feel like a minefield for someone with neurodivergence, because even working with the most well-intentioned therapist can hurt us if they try to apply treatments for neurotypicals to us (because while many things are still useful, some are harmful). It can also be hard to connect with a therapist who doesn’t understand neurodivergences, especially those like autism. We might not even know why therapy is making us feel worse or why we can’t connect with a therapist if we haven’t discovered that we’re neurodivergent ourselves, or aren’t sure what that means yet.

That doesn’t mean that neurotypical practitioners can’t do a good job, or that neurodivergent therapists can’t still make mistakes with neurodivergent clients, but it does mean that I know a lot of you who have been in therapy before might have had some bad experiences. This book is for you (or for those looking to start who are nervous), to give you a bit of a framework for understanding what therapy can and should look like for someone with autism - and what it can look like when it’s going wrong, so you can be prepared to advocate for yourself.

Congratulations

Congratulations on your discovery of your own autism. I know it can be a scary, grief-wrought, angry mess of hope, relief, and rekindled joy to move through accepting yourself for who you are and what you need. I hope these resources give you a leg up on beginning to process through things and find ways to make your own life suit you better. If you’re having trouble with any of it, you know where to find me.

Happy researching!

A stack of books in autumn colours, with a small leafy plant sitting on top in a yellow pot, with text below that reads “Resources for New Autistics”